This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize