we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
