yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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