Soap is not a condiment
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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