I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
