I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
