Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The uberlube is also flammable
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
