I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he fucked my hip out of place.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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