It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
