Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
