big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
