I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I love you. Go after that dick
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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