Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
