Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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