why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
