i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize