I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
