I wannas sexs uuuuu
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
