The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
