woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You are a genius and a whore.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
