Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She's just so happy...and so naked.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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