do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
