Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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