I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
