I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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