I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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