The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
