her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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