In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Randomize
