I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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