you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
