A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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