i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
