You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
