I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
