I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I see more hoeing in ur future
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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