explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
