in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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