i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
