wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
