ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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