Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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