Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I AM VODKA MAN
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
