I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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