Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
