On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
