soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
