So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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