do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
