I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
